- “Hippies, hippies... they want to save the world but all they do is smoke pot and play frisbee!”
- “I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!"”
- “Well I looked in my moms closet and saw what I was getting for Christmas, an ultravibe pleasure 2000.”
- “If some sissy chick tried to kick my ass I would say hey, missy, go knit me a sweater before I slap you in the face!”
- “Too bad drinking scotch isn't a paying job or Kenny's dad would be a millionare!”
- “Ok That's it, Talking Poo is where I draw the line.”
- “Kenny's family is so poor that yesterday, they had to put their cardboard box up for a second mortgage.”
- “Why does this happen every month? It seems like right about the same time every month, Kyle's mom gets a hair up her ass about something, and I always end up getting screwed by it.”
- “Anyway Kenny, Yellow MegaMan is only $8.95, so maybe your mom can put it on layaway and make payments for a year or two.”
- "Whatever...I`ll do what I want"
- "You know the feeling when the huge dump you just took shoots back up your ass?"
- "Mr. Jefferson is the best thing that has happen to south park in a long time in if you screw this up, My GOD help me i will rip your balls with my bear hands ,you hear me my bear hands."
- "Ok, that does it! Now listen! Why is it that everything today has involved things either going in or coming out of my ass? It's completely immature!"
- "Well, I've been lickin' this carpet for 3 whole hours and I don't feel like a lesbian."
- " It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a women's separation; this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation."
- "If some girl tried to kick my ass, I'd be like, 'Hey. Why don't you stop ... dressing me like a mailman ... uh, and making me dance for you ... while you go and ... smoke crack in your bedroom ... and have sex with ... some guy ... I don't even know. On my dad's bed."
- "You so much at TOUCH kitty's ass, and I'll put a firecracker in your nutsack and blow your balls all over your pants."
- "Handle it? For two billion dollars I could handle my Grandpa's balls dude."
- "This is killing me. The human body was not meant to move quickly like that."
- "I hate hippies! I mean, the way they always talk about "protectin' the earth" and then drive around in cars that get poor gas mileage and wear those stupid bracelets - I hate 'em! I wanna kick 'em in the nuts!"
- "Shut up Kyle! Shut your Goddamn' Jew mouth! You're the reason that there's war in the Middle East"
- "Kyle, I swear to God, if I didn't have a guy's hand up my butt right now, I would leap across the room and kick you in the nuts."
- "I was just layin' down some rhymes, with the G-folk, you know, kickin' it on the west siy-eede."